A parent who was receiving her first Resonance Repatterning session looked at me and said, "I've had 2 years of therapy about my son. Only today, do I understand and feel ready to forgive him."
As a parent, you may want to resolve a physical, emotional or mental problem, or you may want your family to experience more security, love, ease, communication and joy. Whatever your need, we zero in on the unconscious beliefs and patterns that keep you stuck in repetitive problems.
More important than efficiency, is the heart connection we bring to each session. You are shifting with love, support and guidance.
Your child is one-of-a-kind.....and you are losing your mind.
You wouldn't wish your child on your worst enemy....or maybe you would....they are the "centerpiece" at family functions and usually not in a good way. You might have been tempted to leave them at a rest area....if you thought you could get away with it.
Infants: Your baby cries way too much. Damned, if you can figure out why more than 25% of the time. You walk them, rock them, and pass them off to any willing arms. You are up at night way too much. You receive plenty of advice, none of it helpful. You feel alone, punished, lost, ashamed, and most of all exhausted. Read more about babies....
Toddlers: Everything has ended up on top of the refrigerator in your frantic attempts to keep your child safe. Your child is into the toilet, the outlets, the phone, the computer, faucets. Your pet goes hungry, so your toddler won't eat its food. Visiting other houses is a nightmare. You wonder if it's even possible to teach your child "DON'T TOUCH". Transitions, like getting out of diapers, are impossible. Your child still doesn't sleep through the night...and you are bleary-eyed and not thinking clearly.
School Age: Mealtimes continue to be a minefield. Your child has intense likes and dislikes, and frankly, you are tired of chicken fingers, plain pasta and pizza. At school, the rubber has hit the road. You have an on-going dialogue with every adult in the school. You are sick of homework, sick of explaining, sick of school, sick of Parent/Teacher conferences. Your child often loses lunchboxes, coats, gloves, hats, pants. (Pants! How does a kid lose his pants?) Your child comes home restless, agitated, and hungry. Your life may feel like running on marbles.
Tweens: Your child struggles with finding and keeping friends. Organized sports have become too confining. You might find sleepovers are a nightmare. Moodiness is the new norm. Your child picks fights and criticizes everything. Homework is probably inconsistent. Your child works best when you sit next to them as long as you stay patient, which is nearly impossible. Old favorite pastimes have been replaced by video games, computer time and watching TV. Read more about Tweens
Teens: Your child is obsessed with their appearance...and yours. They have become secretive and lie to your face. You might have the "Slacker" or the "Valedictorian". You walk on eggshells waiting for the next explosion. Their sleep is probably erratic and they definitely can't wake up. You might not like their friends but you put up with them because, at least they have friends. Texting, Facebook, MySpace, online games, movies, and TV are your constant companions. When you try to set limits, your child threatens you. Read more about Teens...
You have tried reading books and asking questions, rationalizing, watching videos, classes, therapy, talking to your friends and family. As you have come to realize, your kid will not be leaving home anytime soon and something has to change.
"Great." you say. "Now what?"
When you are an unhappy parent, whether it is your first child, or fifth, it can be really hard to figure out why they struggle. What is their problem? Are they really having trouble or just manipulating you? How could they need so much? And when you do figure out the what and the why of the problem: You are still left with: "I can't take it any more. What do I do now?"
This question is legitimate and probably scary. You are an adult. You should know how to do this, right?
So let me ask you:
Do you need help?
Is what you are doing working to your satisfaction?
If you answered “Yes” to needing help, or “No” to being satisfied, then probably, you, like the rest of us, could use some help. That doesn't mean you know what kind of help you are needing, or where to get it. It just means that you could use some help of some kind.
"My child's laying on the floor, crying and clutching my leg. I think I need some help"
I get the picture! When you accept this, you are free to search for the kind of help that fits you and your family. It’s so hard to know where to go for help, especially when you are exhausted from your child's demands. You can often feel as if you are the only one who gone through this.
What might be helpful right is to take a moment and take a deep breath. Even if they are howling....remember why you did this.
You may not believe this, but you are the expert in what is best for your child. You know what to do.
What you need to do is to clear away some old stuff and stand solid, knowing and ready for action. Your child is who they are. Here are some things that can really help you.
Group support can be a sanity saver. Just knowing: "I am not the only one!" is a huge release in tension.
Some de-coding of behaviors may help you to write your own personal parenting manual and save you both a lot of irritation with each other.
Another help may be one-on-one sessions around specific blocks in parenting which can heal your grieving/angry/childish parts.
Here's why I am passionate about parenting:
My own not-so-great experiences as a mother-of-3 frustrated me and I wanted some kind of peace around mothering. I had a cesarean followed by a year of crying and depression with a high-need baby and a full-time business. I was pregnant with my twins when I had my first Resonance Repatterning session and went on to have a VBAC at home. I became a La Leche League Leader in 1998, a Communication Skills Instructor in 2005, and a Certified Resonance Repatterning Practitioner in 2009.
My kids are my teachers. They have uncompromising demands for my personal growth. They have allowed (or forced) me to live spiritual qualities like grace, joy, connection, humility, acceptance and humor.
I offer several ways for parents to receive help:
The Start-Your-Week-Right repatterning is free. Sign up here...
I offer regular Group classes on various topics and Private Sessions: Work with Donna